Comments on: Embrace

By: Dyepotgirl

Dyepotgirl — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 08:45:18 +0000

I just discovered your website. It’s wonderful, just like your book! I was just reading through bunch of old posts when I came a crossed this one and had to comment about hugging. I’m with you, I’m a hugger and most of my friends are huggers. I’ve been like that my whole life. Hugs = Love, or at least for me they do. Not the sexual kind of love, just the human kind. Hugs are reminder that we’re all connected. To me, hugs are comfort food for the soul. I can’t imagine living without them and besides, who would want to LOL!
I’m so sorry that you had that experience with your friend, and I’m really sorry for all those people who are missing out of a basic human need to connect because of fear and judgement. Many years ago one of my oldest and dearest friends lost a leg to cancer. If we are out and about shopping or just wandering, I often will extend my arm for her to steady herself with so she doesn’t fall. If the terrain is very uneven we’ll just link arms and walk together. It’s never occurred to me that people might think something nasty, and after writing and considering this I realized that I wouldn’t care anyways. (Just for the record I’ve been happily married for a very long time now.) We often used to link arms or hold hands when we were girls and teenagers, I guess now people think we just have a legitimate reason as adults. Because of this, when I see two women holding hands or walking arm in arm, I never think anything of it. It’s just two people connecting. My mom lives over a thousand miles away. When she visits and we go shopping, we’ll often walk arm in arm. We’re just two people happy to be in each others company. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be so afraid and uncertain that you can’t link arms or hug a friend. It must just be exhausting to constantly worry about what others are thinking. I know it takes a lot of energy to be that judgmental about others. After considering all this, I’ve decided I don’t care, let people think what they will. After all, the people who know and love me are always happy to get hugs and give hugs back. I bet it’s the same with your friends and family too. Huggers Unite! We have nothing to lose but our prejudices!!!!

PS: The next time you see her, please give your friend a hug for me and tell her that the people I hang around with would see absolutely nothing wrong with walking arm in arm with someone. I really think most people feel the same way as you and I do.

By: Annalea

Annalea — Sat, 30 May 2009 05:07:59 +0000

I think it’s sad that there were so many inconsiderate & rude people on Temple Square. Didn’t their mothers teach them it was rude to stare? If I’m looking at a stranger, it’s to smile and say hello.

I also think it’s sad that Americans are so physically removed from one another. Nearly everywhere else in the world, people touch one another more. Don’t stop.

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 05 May 2009 03:24:39 +0000

Hugging and kissing is one of the things I love most about you. When you approach me, it is so obviously out of friendship, I never thought otherwise. I understand that some places and some cultures may not understand. I am so glad to live in a place where these kind of actions are not unusual.

By: Lisak

Lisak — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:25:18 +0000

My family isn’t huggy. DH’s family is. It was a change for me, but I like it. My kids are huggers, even my eleven year old son. (not in front of the friends, of course).

By: Annie

Annie — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 19:06:09 +0000

I’ve always been a huggy person. I’ve noticed recently that NOT all my kids are. Oh they will hug you back if you initiate but they won’t on their own. Some of my kids are Huggers and Kissers. Love it!
Its one of your traits I’ve always loved, the hugging. See you soon!

By: marti

marti — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 05:28:22 +0000

I often wonder how we go from being young girls, where it is normal to walk close and hold hands to a society where that is verbotten as an adult. hmmmm.

By: terri

terri — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 22:19:40 +0000

I knew at the time that it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the dirty minds of the people around us. Mwah! Love you, dear.

By: Miriam

Miriam — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 21:08:09 +0000

I hope you know that it really had nothing to do with you, but with being an ex-mormon on temple square. It makes me a mite twitchy. I feel like I have to defend myself for all of my life’s choices, you know?

By: terri

terri — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:34:14 +0000

Heather says my kisses are poison, and won’t let me hug her in front of friends, but at home? She’s all over me.

By: Joanne

Joanne — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:27:43 +0000

Hugs are so important. I know just what you mean now–I’ve been tensing about things like this now for so long that I worry about how I’ll get back to being the huggy, touchy person I was once. One’s environment–and how safe it is–make such an enormous difference. Thanks for being one more caring, holding person. Oh, and have I mentioned how many times a day I am touching and hugging a dog? So many that I suspect that if it were a child, the kid would say “Stop it Already!!!”